None of the following quotes are real. They were freely invented, shamelessly attributed to famous personalities, and serve purely for entertainment. Picasso, Einstein & Co. most likely never mentioned Le Scameur — which was probably their loss.
“Who is Le Scameur?”
Pablo Picasso
“The Mona Lisa would have been finished sooner if Le Scameur hadn't given me advice.”
Leonardo da Vinci
“If you could hear Le Scameur's art, I'd have cut off my other ear too.”
Vincent van Gogh
“Veni, vidi, I understood nothing.”
Julius Caesar, after a visit to the Gallery of Nothing
“Everything is relative, except Le Scameur's prices.”
Albert Einstein
“I could explain my art, but it would instantly lose half its value.”
Monsieur Le Scameur, on the true meaning of art
“Modesty is an admirable quality — especially in less talented artists.”
Monsieur Le Scameur, with feigned restraint
“If you don't like my work, look at it longer. Eventually, you'll start doubting yourself.”
Monsieur Le Scameur, pedagogical advice to skeptics
“I am Batman.”
“And he, apparently, Michelangelo.”
Bruce Wayne, after Le Scameur's self-introduction
“I’ve been stealing my whole life. Le Scameur calls it the art trade.”
Arsène Lupin, envious of the business model
“I did not conquer the world to one day pay this much for a canvas.”
Genghis Khan, disappointed art collector
“Expelliarmus, unfortunately, doesn't work on invoices.”
Harry Potter, an important lesson learned after the purchase
“I can choke people with the Force. Le Scameur manages it with an invoice.”
Darth Vader, envious of modern methods
“With great power comes great responsibility. With great art comes, apparently, an even greater invoice.”
Spider-Man
“Elementary, my dear Watson: someone has been robbed here.”
Sherlock Holmes, upon examining the invoice
“I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.”
Don Vito Corleone, negotiating the price
“I’ll be back.”
“But not to buy anything.”
Terminator, after seeing the invoice
“I steal from the rich and give to the poor. Le Scameur does roughly the opposite.”
Robin Hood
“Charge 20,000 francs, you want to? Strong in you, the dark side is.”
Yoda, after the price negotiation
“I thought I knew every trick for making money.”
Scrooge McDuck, after getting to know Le Scameur
The source? Trust me.
— Monsieur Le Scameur